


Crossing a Line

by RayBen



Category: Endeavour (TV)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Guilt, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Infidelity, M/M, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-30 15:44:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RayBen/pseuds/RayBen
Summary: In the aftermath of a difficult case Thursday and Morse cross a line in their relationship - one which can't be uncrossed. Confessions are made and secrets come to light that will change their relationship for ever.





	Crossing a Line

**Author's Note:**

> First attempt at some Frendeavour - apologies if I have made any glaring errors regarding locations, names, timescales or social conventions of the time period.

**Crossing a Line**

 

Fred Thursday wasn’t entirely sure how he’d managed to get them safely back to Morse’s flat that afternoon. He remembered the chaos at the scene. Remembered how no-one, not even Morse, had anticipated that Pearl Evans would have a gun, let alone threaten to shoot someone.  The shake in her arm as she aimed it at Fred’s chest suggested she hadn’t anticipated it herself, but desperate people do desperate things.  Fred himself had felt remarkably calm about the situation, speaking to her softly, attempting to reason with her.  He didn’t really expect to get through to her but he knew if he could buy enough time Morse would be able to disarm her.  He nearly had but she clocked Morse at the last minute.  For a brief moment Fred had felt scared, convinced she would shoot.  Instead she had turned the gun on herself and well…. that was that.  They’d stayed long enough for Strange and the rest to arrive and take control of the scene but Fred’s priority had been to get Morse away from there.  Away from the blood and gore and smell of gunpowder.

He remembered the look of absolute shock and horror on Morse’s face as he led him from the house.  How he had stayed completely silent as Fred bundled him into the car and drove them away. The actual journey was a blur, his hands and feet operating the car on auto-pilot.  It was only now that they were in Morse’s basement flat that he allowed himself to take a moment and let the full reality of what had just happened hit him.  His hands shook as he reached up for the whiskey bottle Morse kept on top of the kitchen cabinet.  The bottle rattling against the rim of the glasses as he poured two generous measures.  He kept his back turned to Morse as he took a long, shaky breath to calm himself.  Turning round he wasn’t surprised to find Morse still standing just inside the doorway, his unblinking eyes staring off into the distance.  Fred left the glasses on the table and approached him with care, not wanting to startle the lad.

“C’mon then Morse,” he spoke softly, “let’s get your coat off.”

His hands moved to the lapels of Morse’s coat and he gently eased it from his shoulders.  Fred was surprised to see Morse’s eyes brimming with unshed tears.  He knew the boy had a weak stomach when it came to blood but he had never seen him react like this before. He pushed the coat down Morse’s arms and let it drop to the floor, his hands returning to the young constable’s shoulders.

“Morse, c’mon lad, it’s alright, it’s all over now,” Fred reassured him.

Morse blinked, causing the tears to fall and roll silently down his cheeks. He started to cry in earnest, huge hiccupping sobs wracking his body.  Fred immediately pulled Morse to him and enveloped him in his arms, rubbing soothing hands up and down his back.

“Shush now, no need for tears, you’re alright,” he whispered into Morse’s hair.

After several minutes the tears had stopped and Fred became aware of Morse speaking, his words muffled.  Fred pulled back slightly, though he kept his arms wrapped around Morse and tried to make out what he was saying.

“She was trying to kill you,” Morse whispered, “you could have died.”

Fred shook his head softly, “But I didn’t, I’m fine Morse, I’m alright. We’re both alright.”

Morse still had his head bowed, burrowed into Fred’s shirt front.  Tucking his finger under his chin Fred gently tilted Morse’s head up.

“Endeavour, look at me.  I’m alive and I’m fine.”

The rare use of his first name seemed to break Morse out of his daze and for the first time since they got to the flat he looked Fred in the eye. 

“I thought she was going to shoot you…,” Morse said, his voice shaking, “I thought you were going to die.” 

As he spoke he shifted out of Fred’s embrace and brought his hands up, his fingers stroking down Fred’s cheeks, his eyes shifting restlessly as if trying to reassure himself that his Inspector really was unharmed.

“I thought...I thought I was going to lose you,” Morse’s voice came out in a whisper, “I was going to lose you before….before I’d…...before.”

“Before what?” Fred gently prompted.

Morse didn’t reply, instead he cupped Fred’s face in his hands and slowly brought their lips together. 

The kiss was chaste but Fred could feel his heart racing, a million thoughts racing through his head.  He knew he should pull away, knew Morse was vulnerable, wasn’t in his right mind, but try as he might Fred couldn’t stop it.  Instead he allowed his lips to part slightly, running his tongue softly along the seam of Morse’s lips.  At this the floodgates opened.  The kiss turning heated and passionate, their tongues sliding together, each fighting for control.  Morse’s hands had dropped to Fred’s shoulders and he pulled their bodies flush together.  Fred gasped as he felt a tell-tale hardness press against his hip.  Morse, clearly encouraged by Fred’s reaction, ran his hands down Fred’s back and clutched his arse, grinding his hips harder against him.  Fred shifted slightly bringing their groins together, allowing Morse to feel that he too was aroused. Morse broke the kiss and pulled back, searching Fred’s face.  Whatever he saw there must have been encouraging as he gave Fred a shy smile before dropping down to his knees. Seeing Morse in front of him, watching as his hands moved to unzip his trousers, Fred was amazed his knees didn’t buckle.  This was something he hadn’t even dared dream about.  Morse, the man who had mesmerised Fred from the moment he clapped eyes on him, the man Fred had felt an instant spark of attraction and desire for, was slowly unzipping his fly,  his hand reaching in and drawing out Fred’s hard cock, all whilst glancing up shyly. Fred knew there was no turning back, they were crossing a line that could never be uncrossed.  Fred had always been a steady, pragmatic sort and he knew that this path most likely led to heartbreak but he couldn’t bring himself to put an end to it. He wanted this to happen and if everything came crashing down as a result well at least he would have one moment of bliss to look back on.

He placed a finger gently on Morse’s cheek and stroked across the skin, a slight rasp of stubble along his jawline.  He forced himself to say the words, “Are you sure?”

Morse gave no answer, he simple leaned forward and licked a gentle stripe from root to tip before gently sucking on the tip of Fred’s cock.  Still looking up he opened his mouth wider and took Fred deeper as his hand came up to grip at the base.  Fred allowed his hand to slide into Morse’s hair, gently gripping the tawny strands as he gave in to the pleasure sweeping through him.

Whether due to the adrenaline still coursing through his system, or the fact that it was Morse on his knees before him, Fred knew he wasn’t going to last long. Morse was licking and sucking him sloppily, taking Fred deep then pulling back and laving his tongue around the head as his hand worked the shaft. Fred’s focus narrowed to the exquisite heat of Morse’s mouth as he took him deep once more. Fred could feel the tingling in his groin, felt his balls tighten and draw close to his body, the pressure being applied was almost too perfect and suddenly he was coming long and hard. He felt momentary guilt at having given the lad no warning but Morse didn’t seem to mind. He swallowed all that Fred gave him and was still continuing to hold the now sensitive cock in his mouth, his eyes glazed with pleasure as he chased every last taste of Fred.

He finally let Fred fall from his mouth and then knelt back on his haunches.  His hand scrambled at his fly and he quickly withdrew his own hard cock and began to desperately fist it. Fred sank down to the floor and batted Morse’s hand away, wrapping his own larger fist around Morse's erection. He wrapped his other arm around the young man and pulled him flush against his body. Morse eagerly burrowed his head into Fred’s neck, licking and sucking at the skin above his collar. It only took a few tugs before Morse was moaning and spurting his come all over Fred’s hand, not to mention his shirt tails and the trousers that were pooling around his knees.  Morse was shaking now in the aftermath of his orgasm and Fred quickly gathered him up in a hug holding him tight.

Feeling his knees starting to protest he managed to haul them both up from the floor. He kicked his shoes off and stepped out of his trousers, leaving them in a puddle on the floor. Morse did the same and they staggered over to the bed, neither wanting to let go of the other. They collapsed in a heap on top of the covers and Morse quickly snuggled in to Fred’s side whilst giving a jaw cracking yawn, his eyes already drifting closed.

“That’s it lad,” said Fred, “you have a good nap now, it’s been a long day.”

Morse smiled gently back at him, blushing slightly as he spoke, “Thank you.”

“Thank You? What are you thanking me for?” Fred questioned.

Morse wouldn’t look in his eyes and his words were mumbled quietly into Fred’s shoulder,

“For this, for being here with me. I’ve…..I’ve dreamt of this for a long time. I’ve wanted you since the moment I saw you.”

Fred was taken aback, he’d never imagined Morse would harbour such feelings for him. He was trying to think of just how to reply to this confession when he realised Morse had already slipped off to sleep.

* * *

Fred eased his arm out from under Morse and slowly sat up. Looking down he was gratified to see the lad dozing peacefully, a gentle smile gracing his features.  With a fond look Fred reached up and gently stroked a few damp hairs back from his forehead. Trying his best not to disturb the young constable he rose from the bed and made his way to the tiny bathroom, retrieving his discarded trousers on the way.

In the bathroom he removed his shirt and rinsed both it and his trousers out under the tap, blushing slightly at the stains adorning them.  He hung them over the side of the bath to dry and then, standing in his underpants and vest, he stared at his reflection in the mirror above the sink. Looking at himself critically he saw a middle-aged man, an old man, with greying hair and a tired expression. For the life of him Fred couldn’t explain why Morse seemed to find something attractive and desirable in this sad sack in front of him.  But yet, there was a glint in his eye that hadn’t been there in a long time. He couldn’t help the smile that played about his lips as he thought of Morse kissing him, remembering the feel of his mouth against his neck, the sound of his moans as he came. And then the words Morse had uttered came rushing back to him, Morse whispering that he’d dreamt of this, wanted this for a long time.

His ruminations came to a halt when he heard a sleepy voice call out to him, asking where he was.  Going back out to the bedroom he was greeted by the sight of a sated Morse smiling up at him from the bed, his hand outstretched as he beckoned for Fred to come back and join him. He clambered back onto the bed, leaning against the headboard and lifting his arm as Morse cuddled in to him.  Idly stroking his hand up and down the lad’s arm he hummed in pleasure.  Morse’s hand rested on Fred’s thigh and he lightly scratched his fingers along the skin. They both seemed content to sit there and enjoy the quiet and the company.

Fred was just wondering what time it was when a rumbling gurgle from Morse’s stomach indicated it must be tea time.  Morse gave an embarrassed laugh as his hand came to his tummy.

“Hungry lad eh?” laughed Fred, “starting to feel a bit peckish myself. What say I nip out and get us some fish and chips?”

“Mmmm, yes,” replied Morse, “I’m famished.”

Fred leaned over and gave Morse a gentle kiss on the lips before getting up and walking back towards the main part of the room.  Looking down at himself he realised the flaw in his plan.

“Might have to send you out to forage for dinner Morse, seems I’m a bit lacking in clothes at the minute.”

Morse peered over at him as he rose from the bed, “where are your trousers?”

“Currently drying out over your bath tub.  Seem to have picked up a few stains somehow.”

The blush that spread across Morse’s face was one of the most adorable things Fred had seen in a long time.

“Ah no matter son, they’ll dry off soon enough and we’ll be none the wiser,” chuckled Fred as he began hunting in his coat for his wallet to give Morse some money for the chippy, “sure if you head out it’ll give me time to give Win a quick call, let her know what’s going on.”

He turned back to Morse with a 5 bob note in his hand only to see the young man looking deathly white, all colour having drained from his face.  Fred was across the room in two strides, taking Morse’s hands in his own.

“Hey, hey, what’s this now?” asked Fred.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” muttered Morse as he frantically backed away from Fred, “What are you going to tell….I mean what will she say… how can we…”

Fred interrupted what was clearly becoming some kind of panic attack.

“Endeavour calm down,” he ordered.

“Calm down! How can I be calm when you’re going to tell your wife…..my god how could I have forgotten your wife!”

“Don’t be daft lad, of course I’m not going to tell Win about this.  I just meant I’d be telling her about what happened with that madwomen.  Let her know we’re safe and I’d be home later.”

Morse seemed to calm slightly at the words but Fred could see he was still agitated.  Taking a deep breath he knew he would have to explain the whole situation to Morse before the lad did himself a mischief thinking he’d done something terrible.

“Morse. Endeavour. Look there’s things I need to tell you about Win and I. About why what we’ve just done is not some terrible betrayal as you’re clearly starting to think.”

Morse opened his mouth to interrupt but Fred held up a hand to stop him.

“I promise I will tell you everything but we’re both famished and I think this would go much easier on a full stomach.”

Morse still looked like a horse that was about to bolt but he grudgingly took the money Fred offered and after a cursory clean up he headed out to get their dinner.  Fred wasn’t sure this was the best course of action, there was always a chance he wouldn’t come back, but then again this was his flat, he’d have to come back eventually and Fred didn’t plan on leaving until he did.

* * *

 

Knowing she’d be starting to worry about where he was Fred picked up Morse’s telephone and dialled.

“Win love,” he said as the phone was answered, “it’s me.”

“Hello love, everything alright?”

“I’m grand Win, just wanted to let you know I’ll not be home for tea tonight.”

“Fred, what’s happened,” Win’s voice rang with concern.

“Nothing to fret about, bit of a to do today with a suspect, got Morse pretty shaken up so I don’t like to leave him alone,” Fred explained, “I’m at his flat now, I’ll stay till he’s calmed down and then head home.”

“What ‘to-do’ Fred? What happened, is Morse alright?”

Fred couldn’t help the grin, Win had had a soft spot for Morse from the moment she laid eyes on him, declaring the boy needed feeding up and looking after.

“He’ll be alright, just a bit of a shock is all, I’ll see to him.” He reassured her.

“Hmm, well see that you do Fred Thursday,” Win replied, “I know how much he means to you.”

Fred sighed, Win had always been the smart one of the two of them. Fred knew she was aware of his feelings for Morse, how it was more than the usual relationship between an inspector and his bagman.

“I mean it Fred,” she continued, “you look after him, and you look after yourself too. And if you need to stay longer with him you stay. You can let me know how he is tomorrow.”

“Thank you Win…..I love you.” Fred replied, “I’ll always love you, you know that don’t you?”

Fred could tell Win was smiling when she replied that she would always love him too.  They said their goodbyes and Fred hung up the phone just as he heard the key in the door lock.

* * *

Morse came back into the flat, arms full with their chippy tea and a few bottles of beer.  He glanced at Fred nervously, unsure of what reaction to expect.  Fred crossed the room and took the bag and bottles from his nervous young constable, placing then on the small table.  He turned back to Morse and enveloped him in his arms, rubbing soothing arms up and down his back.  At first Morse stood rigid but soon relaxed and leant into the embrace, bringing his own arms up to wrap around Fred’s waist.  He let out a sigh and buried his head in Fred’s neck.

The smell wafting up from the table made Fred’s stomach rumble and he laughed gently as he pulled back.

“C’mon lad, let’s tuck in before it’s stone cold.”

Morse still looked unsure but nodded slowly and made his way over to the table and sat down.

As they tucked in to cod, chips and mushy peas Fred watched Morse closely.  He could tell the young man was struggling with what had happened between them.  He didn’t think the actual physicality bothered him, it was more the fact that he had been intimate with a married man, a man whose wife he knew and liked.  Fred knew it wasn’t going to be easy to explain, he was never one for talking much about feelings and emotions, but he also knew that he owed it to Morse to explain why there was no reason for him to feel guilty.

Fred finished up the last of his chips and reached for one of the bottles of beer, he thought he’d probably end up needing something stronger but the beer would do for now. Settling back in the chair he looked across at Morse. He was still finishing his food, head bowed, not making any eye contact with Fred. Fred took a deep breath and spoke.

“Look Morse, I know you’re feeling like we’ve done something unforgivable but we really haven’t,” though heaven knows the law feels differently thought Fred ruefully.

Morse looked up at him, confusion etched across his face.

“Not unforgivable? I just made you cheat on your wife, how is that _not unforgivable_ ”

Fred knew he’d be best just to come out and say it.

“First off, you didn’t _make_ me do anything. I don’t regret anything that we’ve done here today. I regret that I didn’t explain things to you first, to make you understand that there was no cheating involved.”

Morse tried to reply but Fred held a hand up to stall him.

“Look, Win and I are married but, well it’s not what you would call a conventional marriage,” Fred could feel his cheeks flush, he’d never spoken to another person about this, “We’ve never been intimate with each other.”

Morse scoffed, “Pull the other one, you have two children, are you trying to tell me it was immaculate conception.”

Fred understood Morse’s reaction but he still felt himself getting angry at having to lay bare his family secrets.  He took another breath to compose himself before replying.

“Joan and Sam, well they aren’t our kids in the true sense, they’re Win’s sister Enid’s kids. Enid died when giving birth to Sam. Joan was only 2 years old and their feckless father couldn’t cope with two little uns. We offered to take them for a bit, till he got himself sorted. We’d barely lifted them from the house, and he’d bolted to god knows where. They’ve not seen him since.”

“My god,” Morse replied, “I had no idea they weren’t yours.”

“Watch it lad,” bristled Fred, “those children may not have come to us the normal way, but I’ll be damned if someone tells me they’re not my kids. Mine and Win’s.”

Morse held up a placating hand, “Of course Fred, I’m sorry, I just meant you’re all so close and I know how fiercely you love them.”

Fred was momentarily taken aback, that was the first time he’d heard Morse use his given name. He wasn’t going to deny that he liked it.

“So anyway, like I was trying to say, Win and I have never had that kind of relationship. She knows that I, well that I’m not attracted in that way, I mean not just to her, I mean well, you know, to any women.”

Fred stopped speaking abruptly.  He’d never spoken to anyone about this, well anyone other than Win. It felt strangely freeing to voice it to another human being.

Morse was staring at him thoughtfully, Fred knew that look well by now. He knew Morse was taking his time and digesting this new information.

“So you’ve always been that way?” he finally asked.

Fred nodded his head sagely, “’Fraid so. Certainly fought against it for long enough. Tried to tell myself I just hadn’t met the right woman, that I was just too picky, but then I met Win and she was perfect in every way, just not the way I wanted.”

Morse still looked perplexed, “And Mrs. Thursday? She was happy to go along with this arrangement?”

Again Fred had to tamp down on his natural instinct to tell Morse to piss off and mind his own business.  He loved Win and talking about this with someone else felt wrong, like a betrayal, but he knew he owed Morse the explanation.

“Look Morse, this goes no further than this room, understand? Win’s father, may he rot in hell, was a perverted bastard. He used his girls in the most terrible ways,” Fred’s voice shook as he thought of the misery his lovely Win had been put through, “Well it’s no surprise she’s never wanted to be with a man in that way. Marrying me was Win’s ticket out of that nightmare, she knew I would keep her safe and never ask anything of her.”

Fred rose from the table abruptly and retrieved the bottle of whiskey from the kitchen counter. He took a swig directly from the bottle, grimacing as it burnt his throat going down.  He sat back down, still clutching the bottle.

“After Win told me about what he’d done I used to lie awake at night thinking of ways I could kill him. East End of London, there was plenty of ways I could make him disappear and no-one would ask any questions.”

Morse looked shocked at his admission but Fred knew the truth behind his words.

“Only that I knew I wanted to go into the police stopped me.  You know Win insisted on inviting him to the wedding? I thought she was mad but now I know, it was her way of showing him, showing everyone she was free of him. That she’d survived and found a way out. We didn’t see him again after that day. He knew better than to try to cross my path. He died a few years later, a lonely, bitter old man.  I tell you something though, from the day he died it was like a huge weight had been lifted off my Win. Like she was finally, truly free of him.”

Fred moved to take another drink from the bottle but Morse’s hand reaching across the table stalled him. He set the whiskey back down and allowed Morse to take his hand in his.

Morse cleared his throat before speaking quietly, “Thank you. For sharing that with me.”

Fred nodded tersely, “I mean it Morse, no further than this room.”

Morse was quick to nod his consent. He was still cradling Fred’s hand in his and he began to slowly stroke his fingers across the knuckles. Fred was content to sit there in silence, allowing Morse’s gentle actions to soothe him. Morse seemed equally reluctant to break the quiet mood that had enveloped them.  The two men sat, seemingly lost in their own thoughts despite the connection of their joined hands.

* * *

 

Fred wasn’t sure exactly how long they sat like that, his head was full of Win, the life they’d built together, and how despite the fierce love he felt for her and the children there would always be a part of his heart that would remain empty. This thought caused him to glance at Morse and when he did the tiniest of sparks suggested that perhaps there might be someone after all to fill that space.

He could remember so vividly the first time he laid eyes on Endeavour Morse.  The lad was beautiful, there was no doubt about it, but Fred had seen many pretty boys pass through the station. Something else about Morse gave Fred pause, perhaps it was his quiet nature, or the passion that would flare up when he was sure about his theories and just wanted some validation from his peers and superiors.  He was so different from anyone else Fred had met, he was intelligent but there was no smugness, no superiority when it came to the other officers.  He treated his intelligence like other people treated breathing, it was just what he did.  He didn’t use it to score points or put others down. He saw a question, he answered it. Saw a puzzle, he solved it.  It was just what he did.

Fred supposed he was also drawn by Morse’s clear longing for someone to take a guiding hand with him.  Once he found out about his father, what his upbringing had been like, Fred could understand the young man yearning for a strong male figure to take him in hand.  Fred chuckled ruefully at that though, perhaps he’d been a bit too literal with the ‘taking in hand’ this afternoon.

The chuckle broke the spell of silence that had weaved it’s way around the pair of them.  Morse looked at Fred expectantly, wondering what the joke was.  Rather than explain Fred chose to lean over and place a gentle kiss on Morse’s lips.  It was almost as if he _had_ shared the joke as Morse gave his own soft laugh before deepening the kiss, shifting in his chair to bring himself closer to Fred.  They kissed softly, sweetly for quite a time before Morse broke away and stood up; extending his hand to Fred and leading him gently back towards the bed.  Fred went willingly, eager for more of those addictive kisses, and whatever else Morse chose to bestow on him.

* * *

 

Fred woke early the next morning despite the lateness of the hour when they’d finally settled to sleep. They’d spent most of the night wrapped up in each other. It had been a long time since Fred had been intimate with anyone, and Morse’s touch had been like water to a man stranded in the desert.

As he allowed himself to wake up slowly he relished the ache in his arms and legs, the kind of ache that only came from a certain type of activity. Glancing across at Morse who was lying beside him he smiled to see the tousled mess of the lads hair poking out from under the covers. He couldn’t resist the urge to touch and reached across to ruffle the messy hair, allowing the curls to tangle around his fingers. Morse’s eyes opened and he rewarded Fred with a sleepy smile before stretching languorously, like a cat that had most definitely got the cream.

As he stretched the covers shifted down his body and Fred could see that he’d certainly left his mark on his young lover. Morse’s neck and chest were peppered with telltale red marks. Fred hadn’t been able to stop himself from kissing and sucking the expanse of pale skin last night and it was no less an appealing sight this morning. Reaching out Fred pulled Morse to him and began to nuzzle kisses along his jawline, enjoying the rasp of Morse’s early morning stubble under his lips. Morse’s gentle groan of contentment only served to encourage Fred and he began to make his way south, bestowing more kisses to his chest before gently sucking on a dusky nipple. Morse’s hands came to rest on Fred’s shoulders, stroking and kneading them, encouraging this course of action. Fred shifted his attention to the other nipple, giving it the same treatment as it pebbled to a taut hardness. He lifted a hand from where it had been braced at Morse’s side and began to gently stroke his thumb across his hip bone. He marveled at how delicate Morse felt beneath him, seemingly so slight, yet Fred knew there was a wiry strength there. His thoughts had brought a momentary halt to his ministrations and a frustrated Morse let out a whine of displeasure. His hips were canting up, pressing his leaking erection in to Fred’s stomach as he sought more friction. Getting back to the task in hand Fred moved his head up and caught Morse’s earlobe between his teeth, tugging gently whilst his hand grasped at the stiff cock.

“Don’t fret Lad,” he whispered, “I’m going to take care of that for you.”

Not letting Morse respond he shimmied down the bed and immediately swallowed Morse to the root. Morse tried to buck his hips up but Fred grasped him by his waist and held him steady to the bed as he continued to take him deeply. It may have been years since Fred had given a blow job but he’d always had a talent for it, and it had clearly not left him.  From the frenzied moans and whimpers now issuing from Morse’s mouth Fred knew he was getting close. Fred was enjoying himself too much for a quick conclusion so he pulled back and allowed Morse’s now glistening cock to fall from his lips.

“Easy there Morse, don’t want the fun to be over too soon, just breath for me.”

For once Morse seemed content to follow instructions without comment and Fred chuckled at the thought that he was never this subservient at work. As the lad's breathing calmed down Fred gently stroked his sides, trailing his hands from hip bone down to knee and back again. When he sensed Morse was back from the brink he once again brought his lips to the still impressive erection before him.

This time he began to gently lick long strips from base to tip, allowing his tongue to spread the bitter fluid that was gathering at the top. One of Morse’s legs was trapped under Fred’s body but he encouraged him to lift the other one up, allowing Fred to gently stroke and fondle his balls. When Morse made no move to stop him Fred continued to move his hand back, stroking over his perineum before slowly circling his entrance with one finger. At the first contact Morse gave a start but Fred kept a gentle pressure on the ring of muscle. Not trying to penetrate, just gently pressing and stroking around it until he felt Morse relax again. Fred then enveloped Morse’s cock in his mouth and increased the pressure of his sucking, all the while gently circling his hole. Morse’s breathing had sped up again and a litany of nonsense words issued from his mouth. Fred’s heart swelled as he heard Morse start to moan ‘Fred’ over and over again. As he brought Morse closer and closer to orgasm Fred’s finger started to press harder, allowing just the tip to breach his entrance. He wished he’d thought to grab something, lotion or oil, to allow him to ease more of his finger in, but he hadn’t and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt Morse. It seemed that was enough anyway. The gentle press of Fred’s finger inside him coupled with the attention being shown to his cock tipped him over the edge and he was coming. A torrent of fluid spurting into Fred’s mouth.  He did his best to swallow it all but couldn’t prevent some spilling down his chin. 

Fred wasn’t sure there was a sweeter sound than the one Morse made when he was coming. His whole upper body had arched from the bed as the orgasm tore through him, and now he flopped back bonelessly. Fred was concerned he’d actually passed out, but after a brief moment Morse’s hands were scrambling at Fred’s shoulders, pulling him back up the bed. When they were level once more Morse all but attacked Fred’s mouth, kissing him long and hard. Fred knew Morse would taste himself on his tongue, a sensation some men didn’t exactly love, but Morse was proving to be an exception. His tongue swept Fred’s mouth, searching out every last taste of himself, before pulling back to lap at the stickiness that now coated Fred’s chin.  When he’d apparently had his fill his kisses gentled, small pecks along Fred’s lips, his cheeks, his eyelids. Fred became aware that Morse’s hand was now reaching towards his groin, obviously keen to reciprocate, but Fred caught him by his wrist before he reached his goal.

“That’s alright lad, just you relax now, you wore me out so much last night I’m not sure I could exactly perform right now.”

“If you’re sure?” a blushing Morse replied.

“Oh I’m sure,” Fred laughed, “I’m not a young man anymore, can’t think to the last time I had this much em… stimulation. Us oldies need a bit more recovery time you know.”

Morse huffed at that, “Less of the _oldies_! You weren’t lacking in any energy last night.”

Fred chuckled good naturedly. He certainly had found himself to be very _energetic_ last night. Even at the peak of his youth he couldn’t remember a time he’d experienced 3 orgasms within 24 hours, although back then it was more a case of a quick fumble in a gent’s lavatory. The luxury of a bed and an entire night together was an experience he’d not encountered before.

* * *

 

Looking across at Morse, who was now sprawled contentedly across the bed, he recognised the contemplative look on the young man’s face.

“Out with it then, what’s on your mind?”

Morse shifted on to his side so he could look at Fred more clearly, reaching a hand across to stroke gently along Fred’s chest.

“I was just wondering what it must have been like for you. Having to keep up the pretence of a model husband and father. I mean, did you ever….what did you do….how did you…?”

Fred put a stop to the lad’s stuttering questioning.

“How did I get my end away?” he asked bluntly.

Morse couldn’t suppress a laugh at that, “Well yes.”

Fred took a moment to reply, marveling that it was as if Morse was reading his mind, knew he’d been thinking of the few anonymous encounters he’d snatched.

“Well we lived in London in those days, a big city, plenty of places to go if you knew where to look. Cottages, pubs, clubs, that sort of thing.”

“But wasn’t that dangerous, with you being a policeman?” Morse quizzed.

“Of course it was dangerous,” Fred conceded, “but I wasn’t stupid. I didn’t make a habit of it, once or twice every few months at most. I never went to the same place twice, never gave my real name, didn’t share any details about myself.  Not that many people wanted to know that kind of stuff. Quick. That was the aim of the game. Get yourself off, get the other person off, job done.”

“You said that was in London?” queried Morse, “what about after you moved up to Oxford?”

Fred sighed, “Having to move away from our home was such a wrench on the family but we were determined Oxford would be a fresh start. I wasn’t prepared to do anything to risk my family’s safety again. There hasn’t been anyone in, you know, that way since I set foot in the city.”

Morse took a while to respond. When he finally spoke his tone was quiet and sad.

“I can’t imagine how horribly lonely you must have been.”

Tears pricked at Fred’s eyes as he took in Morse’s words. He was taken aback at the sincerity of his tone, had been expecting him to react with shock or maybe even disgust.  Certainly not this reaction of kindness and understanding.

Morse, seeing how affected Fred had become, shifted over and gathered Fred up in a hug. Fred curled himself in to Morse’s chest, relishing the comfort being offered. For as long as he could remember he had been the strong one. Comforting Win and the children when they were upset, he couldn’t remember the last time someone had looked after him.

After several minutes Fred felt able to speak again and decided to ask the question he’d been thinking about since their first kiss yesterday,

“What about you Morse? I’m clearly not the first man you’ve been with.”

Morse didn’t immediately respond but Fred knew him well enough to know he wasn’t offended. He was merely formulating his response, taking his time to put his thoughts in order. When he did start to reply he continued to hold Fred tightly in his embrace.

“No you’re not the first man I’ve been with. Although, well actually, there’s only been one man before now. It happened here in Oxford. Must be something in the water,” he laughed ruefully. 

Fred was surprised at Morse’s admission, he certainly hadn’t seemed _unexperienced_ last night. He caught himself before he expressed his surprise though, knowing Morse wouldn’t appreciate any insinuation of naivety.

“In Oxford? Do you mean since you returned?”

“No, it was when I first came up to St Johns. He was one of my tutors. I’d never looked at a man in that way but the first time I saw him it was like a bolt of lightning. I could barely look at him during tutorials, I blushed every time he spoke to me. It must have been so obvious to everyone in the room that I was smitten by him.”

Fred ruminated on the fact that this man must have been considerably older than Morse, and now here Fred was, taking advantage of the young man all over again. He couldn’t help but ask the question.

“Did he force himself on you?” he asked tentatively.

“God no!” exclaimed Morse, “he was incredibly kind to me. I don’t believe anything would have occurred between us if it wasn’t for my dogged pursuit of him.”

Fred laughed gently, knowing how tenacious Morse could be when he had an idea in his head.

“Before Michael, that was his name, well before him I’d never been in any kind of relationship. A few girls had caught my eye but I never pursued them. The only relationships I’d encountered, my parents, my father and Gwen, well they weren’t exactly good examples of what love could be.”

Knowing what a difficult childhood Morse had experienced Fred was able to understand all too well what the lad meant. He shifted out of Morse’s embrace and laid down more fully on the bed, pulling Morse to lie across his chest. He stroked his hands through the tousled hair now resting below his chin, giving Morse time, knowing this wasn’t the easiest of subjects for him to discuss.

“Michael was the first person since my mother who seemed to genuinely care for me,” said Morse softly, “He encouraged me with my studies of course, but he also looked out for me in other ways. Always checking I’d been eating enough, getting enough sleep.”

Not for the first time Fred found himself mentally cursing Morse’s useless father. The thought that Sam would ever feel he needed to look to a ‘stranger’ for comfort and affection made his blood run cold. No son should ever feel his father didn’t love him.  He knew he couldn’t voice this to Morse, talking about his father was a sure fire way to get him to clam up.

“I’m glad you had someone looking out for you,” he replied truthfully, glad Morse had at least had some support.

Morse smiled, “He really did, and I think that was honestly his only intention initially, he saw this scrawny young kid and just wanted to make sure I kept up with my studies, but well the more time we spent together the closer we became and then one evening, well one thing just led to another and well……”

Morse tailed off, his eyes glazed, obviously losing himself in pleasant memories. Fred didn’t push for more details, leaving Morse to his reminiscence.  After a few moments however Morse’s brow creased in a frown and he carried on speaking.

“We had 18 glorious months together and then he was gone.”

“Gone?” asked Fred, “Gone where?”

“I never knew at the time,” answered Morse sadly, “I went to his rooms and he was gone, all his belongings gone. I was heartbroken. None of the other tutors would tell me where he’d gone, and I couldn’t exactly keep asking, they’d want to know why I cared so much.”

Fred stroked his hands soothingly along Morse’s back and shoulders.

“You said ‘at the time’, did you find out what happened?” he asked.

“Eventually I did, he sent me a letter a few years later. He explained that one of the Dons had noticed our _close_ relationship. Had started sniffing around trying to see what we were up to. He had panicked that if found out I would be sent down. He believed the best course of action was for him to just disappear.”

“He must have really loved you,” mused Fred, “to give up his career to ensure you weren’t discovered.”

Morse’s body stiffened, “Loved me? Loved me? I don’t think so.”

“But what would you have had him do, just allow this Don to discover the real truth, you both would have been ruined,” Fred attempted to placate Morse.

“You don’t think I was ruined anyway,” Morse shot back, “That was the start of it you know.”

“The start of what?”

Morse took a deep breath, clearly trying to keep his emotions in check.

“I was a mess for months after he left, couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, my studies meant nothing to me. That was when I met Susan and threw myself into a relationship with her. I think she saw what a mess I was and thought she could save me from myself. I just latched on to the affection she was showing me. We lasted 7 months before she realised I was a lost cause and left me. That was when I walked away from Oxford. Everyone thought it was because of Susan, that I couldn’t cope without her, but it wasn’t that. It was Michael I couldn’t cope without.”

Fred cupped his hand around Morse’s face and brought his face up, kissing him softly on the forehead. It seemed this weekend was confession time for both of them.

“I’m so sorry Endeavour, I’m so sorry you had to go through that, you were so young.  Did you ever see Michael again?”

Morse shook his head sadly, “When I got the letter I was still so angry at him, still believed he’d abandoned me to my fate. It was years before I started to see the impossible position he’d been in, and that leaving had seemed like the only course of action. When I started with the police I was able to find out what had become of him. He was arrested after being caught in a public lavatory in Birmingham, he was due to stand trial but he took his own life the night before the trial.”

“My god,” breathed Fred, “I am so, so sorry.”

Unsure of what else he could say he just pulled Morse to him and held him tightly, allowing the lad to weep on his shoulder.

* * *

 

Fred stayed with Morse in the flat until mid-morning, not wanted to leave and disturb the cocoon that they seemed to have created around them.  They didn’t speak much more, certainly no more confessions came to light. They just lay together in the bed, holding each other, occasional kisses punctuating the comfortable silence. Fred knew he needed to head home to see Win and the kids but he was worried that the minute he stepped out the door that everything would come to an end. As if this past 24 hours had just been some wonderful dream that was about to end. Surprisingly it was Morse who made the decision for him.

“Fred, you need to go home to see Win,” he said when their watches showed 11am, “She’ll be worried about you.”

“She’ll be worried about us both,” Fred replied, “She thinks a lot of you you know.”

Morse smiled, “And I think a lot of her too, so that’s why you need to go home and not leave her fretting.”

Fred grumbled his agreement and forced himself out of the bed and back into his trousers and shirt.  For someone used to taking charge and making difficult decisions he found himself uncharacteristically nervous. When he was fully dressed and ready to go he hovered by the bed where Morse was still lying.

“Well then….I guess….I guess I’ll be off then,” he stuttered.

Morse knelt up at the edge of the mattress and draped his arms around Fred’s neck, a relaxed and open smile on his face.

“Fred, I’m going to tell you something and I don’t want you to dismiss it, or try to tell yourself it’s not true. I’m in love with you. I think I’ve probably been in love with you since I first walked in to Cowley station and met you. There’s no denying this has been quite the turn of events but I don’t regret it for one second. If you feel it has to stop now, well I’ll not be happy but I’ll respect it. I know how much family means to you and I won’t do anything to jeopardise that, but from what you’ve explained to me I don’t think it’ll come as any big surprise to Win. I’ll follow your lead and even if that means we only snatch a few brief moments together from time to time, well that’s enough for me.”

Fred was lost for words, as Morse had predicted he was having trouble believing the truth behind the words. Yet instantly he knew that this wasn’t the end, that they would find a way to make it work, find a way to be together.  He wanted to tell Morse that he loved him too, that he wasn’t about to walk away from him, but he couldn’t seem to speak past the lump in his throat. Once again Morse displayed his uncanny knack for seeming to be able to read Fred’s mind. 

“It’s okay Fred, I know how you feel, you don’t need to say it right now.”

Allowing his actions to communicate what he couldn’t Fred leaned in and kissed Morse. The reassuring press of soft lips against his own let Fred know he’d been understood.

A feeling of hope and lightness flowed through Fred and he felt like he could take on the whole damn world, as long as he had his Endeavour to return to.

 

The End


End file.
